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Victor, aka Victor Sweet, aka Victor Strong is not only our awesome Production Manager but he’s also one of our most powerful Grovemaders. Victor’s secret for superhuman strength? A steady diet of hip-hop, rap, R&B and heaping scoops of white hot magma. When through with his morning routine of deadlifting small cars and tiny houses, you’ll find him fishing the banks of the Columbia River, where he reels in trolley-sized carps with his steely bare hands and a visage of extreme aplomb. When not performing unmatchable feats of strength, you’ll find this dynamo enjoying the many tasty tidbits found far and wide in our fair city. Dashia is the magical fairy of the woodshop; actually, she’s the magical fairy of everything good about Grovemade and life in general. When she’s not in the workshop, she’s building bookshelves at home or crocheting scarves and hats. Maybe all the gravel she sucked on as a child contributed to her talent with natural materials? Look out small stones, Dashia is a force of positive energy to be reckoned with. She’s also a loving Mom of two, and her true number one passion is family. Linneah roller skated to Portland from her home in Montana, carrying only a Meyer lemon for sustenance. At Grovemade, she builds things and challenges herself, sometimes in that order, sometimes challenges first, building later. She shares her name with Linnea borealis, also known as Twinflower - perhaps this led to her love of houseplants? A mystery! Outside of work, she’s a talented painter—you can check out her artwork here. Max, named for the main character in Where the Wild Things Are, knows everything about every movie ever made. He’s got a passion for storytelling, from graphic novels and 80s horror films to Ray Bradbury. His resume paints a picture of a colorful life: projectionist, graphic artist at a modeling agency, bartender in foggy Astoria, photographer and videographer, and illustrator extraordinaire. Check out his illustrations here.

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I’m sorry I’m not with the program, but it appears that what is being advised is selling air, i.e. there really is nothing being sold but a lure for the customer who hopes to eventually get something useful. The “business” is getting the customer to keep paying for yet another lure, rather than for an actual useful thing.